tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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