No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize