did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
