It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
