Heybabeimwearingurpanties
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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