Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
