somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
