You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
