i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
