Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
