Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I faked an abortion last night.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
