i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
