I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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