Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
