i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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