Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
