after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
