I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
