If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
