I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
