A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize