You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
is wine microwaveable?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
