It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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