Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
