Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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