Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
