mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
