just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
