Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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