haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
