we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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