I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
