I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
