Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize