You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
