its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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