please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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