Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
