So drunk its hurt
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I want her autograph on my taint
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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