Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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