whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
