and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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