Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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