i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
