Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
