found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Is it because I queefed?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
