I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
