operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
it's great music for shaving your balls
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
