You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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