people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
