Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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