Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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