all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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