pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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