U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize
