If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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