Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
