Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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