I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
