I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
