The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
