Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
