girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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