Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
