Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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