I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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